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The Germaine Truth: 2006-05-29

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The Germaine Truth — Sunday, 29 May 2006


Primary Election Shocker

Walkingstick gives Mayor a surprise

by Howard Applegate

Willie Walkingstick, who many Germaine pundits wrote off as a “liberal gadfly,” pulled a surprising second place finish in the race for City Council. Walkingstick, with 34% of the vote, deprived front-runner Mayor Shawn Hedrick of an outright majority, forcing a fall run-off election.

Walkingstick ran a campaign based on the issue of accountability, claiming that Hedrick had a conflict of interest, and would run rough-shod over the City Charter. He also promised to put forward a motion calling for the impeachment of President Bush, which was widely ridiculed, and attacked as inappropriate for a small town council.

Enough voters evidently agreed with him, however, to push him into a replay in November.

Hedrick said he is not flapped. “Walkingstick is nothing but a perennial troublemaker,” he said. “His silly antics will sway no one. Where do you expect Geena’s voters to go? Surely not to the looney left.”

Walkingstick just laughed when told of Hedrick’s comment. “We’ll just see about that,” he added.

The number of Germaine citizens who voted soared to a record for a primary election. According to the Wilbur County elections division, nearly 70% of eligible voters cast a ballot. It was the first contested election in nearly two decades.

Little Germaine’s diary going online

Diary has been digitized

by Susie Applegate

Germaine City Librarian, Lucy Charlebois-LaPlante announced today that the diary of Germaine VanBibber, the little girl after whom the town of Germaine was named, will be digitized and posted on line.

Lucy, as most Germainers know, is also the director of the Wilbur County Historical Society, which announced the discovery of the diary in 1997. Although the existance of the diary had long been vouched for by the Van Bibbers, the document went missing from the family safe in 1919.

The decades old mystery has never been solved, but the diary was reputedly found by Bradley Bradford, who claimed he uncovered it in the debris of the old Hedrick homestead, which was destroyed by a freak flash flood in late 1996.

The elder Hedricks, who abandoned the old farm house in the early 1980s, denied any knowledge of the diary.

The diary by the nine-year old girl documents the wagon train journey from Missouri in the 1840s, and is considered by most Germainers to be an invaluable piece of our history.

Lucy says she plans to have it up before the start of the school year.

4H News from Misty

by Misty Carmichael

Wilbur County 4H clubs need your support this year. Cindy Miller’s Gnarly Knitters is folding up their wagon. Cindy is turning 18 soon, and there are only 3 kids in the knitting group. We are down to four clubs now and without more kids we won’t be able to afford to go to the State Fair this year. We need parents to sponsor clubs, and we need kids to join the new ones as well as the ones we already have.

The clubs we have are: the Dawn of the Dairy club, led by Connie Duncan. New President is  my friend, Hildy Decker. She said her mother might be taking over from Mrs Duncan at the end of the year. The Cross-eyed Ewe club is headed by Mr Miller, and The Sky is Falling Chicken club is headed by Bodhi Hedrick. The other club is the Wilbur County Steer Club.  Talk to Mr Spenglar, if you are interested. We will be having a car wash and auction next month to raise money for the State Fair. Please help us if you can.

Madam Zorro   The Stars Over Germaine

In general, the stars over Germaine are obfuscating

Aries (March 21-April 20)

So you’ve found love at last. Things are going pretty good. You’re feeling on top of the world. Just a little caution here, come the 4th of June you’ll run into a bit of a snag. Love will stall like an overloaded donkey and just sit there staring at you stubbornly, occasionally braying until the 7th when you suddenly wake up and lighten the load. You’ll be back on the romance trail with your favorite beast of burden. About the 10th you will have a setback where social graces are concerned, but no prob this is just an opportunity to grow.


Taurus (April 20-May 20)

It’s all business with you this month. Start off the month by taking stock of your strengths then up to the 7th, don’t be a wuss. Stand up! About the 10th or so, you will be sitting in your chevy nova at the light in Germaine when you are hit by a powerul inspiration. As a result you will leap over, smash through, and generally obliterate all obstacles in your path. Don’t buy anything on the 15th or 16th. Comparison shop. Look, but don’t touch. Because on the 17th you’ll be able to finally trade that old heap in on a decent car. You’ll put a little more money out than you really can afford, but you will make it through and after the 23rd you’ll be able to smile you’re way to the end of the month.


Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Just between you and me there are times when you could throttle down the wordstream a notch or two. I think you know what I mean. The first three days of June?–one of those times. Practice silence, go to a mountain top, row out to the middle of the lake, anything to avoid saying that thing on your mind about your mother-in-law, your sister, your best friend, your boss . . . After the 3rd, who cares? In fact, come the 9th, your powerful conversations will turn you a profit and provide some money saving to boot. Hot damn! Around the 16th you’ll come across some roadblocks, but you’ll be able to convince Sheriff Sweet that you were home in bed when it happened. On the 21st your strong opinions will rile up your drinking buddies at The Roundup and they’ll take you out in the parking lot to teach you some manners. A shift in the planets will cause a car accident and everybody will be distracted long enough for you to hightail it out of there. Nobody remembers anything and you get your shine back near the end of the month and you’re everyone’s doll, beaming like a star, full of chutzpah and looking good on the 28th and beyond.


Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Up to the 4th of June you are building up to a process that will take place from the 4th through the 7th. Changes. Brother can you spare a change? You must change. Can’t keep those old ideas in the face of what you know now. Change might hurt at first, but you’ll be okay. By the 9th you will have absolutely put on a new shell. This is one of those times when Cancer is a hermit crab–so pick out a new “home” for the new you. Sharp as a tack, you become positively optimistic and the response is deafening–hear the crowd roar. We’re with you all the way up to the 11th. By the 15th things may get a little dicey. Just keep to that new row you are hoeing and you can’t go wrong. The 18th through the 19th is a time to let go of old grudges. Go on down to the Wilbur County lockup and tell that punk who stole the milk can your aunt Lilly tole-painted off your porch that since you got it back and it’s not a bit damaged that you won’t press charges after all. You’ll feel better and you will arrive on the 25th cleansed and looking forward, making new plans.


Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

You know how you sort of pretend? Maybe pretend is too strong, how you sometimes aren’t completely truthful? Well, here’s the watch word for the beginning of June–Honesty. Be real and intimacy and trust will follow and by the 9th you will have adjusted to your new methods. Now you can start fantasizing. Everyone knows you want to. Go with it. Get crazy. Then start adjusting your dreams around the 15th. Keep what you are really happy with, jettison the rest and keep your energy fluid through the next few days. There are some rough rapids ahead on the 23rd to the 25th, but if you have some realistic plans in place you’ll come to shore with most of the gear you had with you.


Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Here’s a real no-brainer for a saint like you–share that deep secret in the utmost privacy. Don’t go blabbing it at the cyber cafe that you’ve just discovered you have a lead on who set fire to the old Arlington house. On the 9th a major insight will blossom and provide you with answers to some of life’s deepest questions. These would also be best kept to yourself. All that suppression is good for you. Builds pressure. You can use some pressure to propel you to new heights come the 18th. On the 21st, you’ll want to make sure you’re heading in the direction you want. If you don’t consult the map, you’ll end up in Jordan Valley instead of Monument. The heights you managed to attain are a little scary, but humor will see you through on the 28th.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

You know how a rubber band lasts a lot longer in the stretch and bend category than say a piece of balsa wood? There’s a lesson or an allegory in there somewhere. Something about strength like that song about the willow and the oak. DON’T BE A RIGID FOOL! You’ll find yourself pulled in more than one direction on the 9th and this state of indecision will last through the 12th. You will be very frustated, especially if you insist on being RIGID. Create something. Turn all that frustration into something beautiful. You’ll be amazed at the rewards awaiting you from such effort on the 21st to 24th.


Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

The 1st through the 7th you will be locked in the bathroom with the telephone trying to negotiate your way out of trouble. Get a cell phone and get outside. On the 7th it all becomes very intense for you and remains so for two days. You must toe the line here, be very careful. If you are strict with yourself, by the 16th, you will find that discipline is important and you will begin to focus your thoughts and energy on that one desire you’ve held for so long, but never thought you could attain. By the 20th you are the master of all you survey. You have some relief from the straight and narrow and bust loose on the 24th. You’ve been wanting to even the score with that joker (you know who I’m talking about), go ahead. Don’t be too hard on yourself as you look back near the end of the month. Everybody has to have a little fun.


Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You are a methodist. June 1st is no time to deviate from the path, verify facts. On the 7th through the 9th you will find yourself sitting on the rock wall overlooking Tamarack Creek and you will realize this is the most wonderful place to be. Please be cautious on the 15th and remember that silence can be it’s own reward. From the 19th to the 22nd your sister will be visiting. While the two of you are sitting in your kitchen enjoying the drift of dustmotes she will suddenly tell you that she wants you to invest in a off-shore drilling project in Iceland. As good as it sounds, don’t be tempted to throw caution to the winds. Deliberate and check all the facts. Normally, you are the one to extend a helping hand, but on the 30th let it be you on the receiving end. It can be a generous act.


Capricorn (Dec.22-Jan. 19)

 Whatever you’ve been doing, it’s going to come to light and you’ll have nowhere to hide by the 3rd, at the latest, the 4th. For five days out on the desert, you will be questioned, grilled, interrogated. On the 9th you will be set free. Not without damage. That frustration, anguish, anger you’re feeling—channel it. Make something with it. But listen, you’ll be tempted to make some serious decisions by the 22nd. Don’t, okay? Not a good idea, especially ones that will effect you for a long time. 


Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

 This is a relationship month for you. Your boyfriend is going to do some things that will make it hard to stay with him. Maybe you shouldn’t. Who knows? You’ll have it in the past by the end of the first week of June. For the three days of the 9th through the 12th, you will be overflowing with all sorts of scintillating ideas, probably energy from the break-up. Afterwards you will encounter frustration around the 19th that will test your resolve. Don’t be a martyr like you were a couple of years ago when you broke up with LeRoy. Find someone to share your feelings with–maybe LeRoy. I mean why did you break up with him? The 25th would be optimal for your heart-to-heart talk.


Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

You’ve made some mistakes. Doesn’t everybody? Okay, yours are pretty intense, but what could you have done with that “package”? It’s been a couple of years now. Start easing up on yourself around the 6th and 7th and on the 9th through the 10th you’ll have the opportunity for absolution. I don’t know how all that Catholic stuff works, but take advantage of it. I’m seeing a special kind of love, one without the usual sacrifices, appearing for you on the 15th. Make yourself innocent like a child and let yourself be influenced by that child within. The 30th will be your lucky day.


 If Your Birthday Is in June:

You are either a Gemini or a Cancer. You have your crosses. Money is a constant concern. Not that you don’t have enough of it, just that you tend the money tree with more diligence than the rest of the signs. You are a tad impatient with those you consider foolish. A word to the wise for the Crabs: You do have vast reserves of empathy, but sometimes you just don’t want to visit that part of you. Here’s the truth, you are alive one moment and dead the next, it doesn’t hurt to let the ones you love know how you feel. To the Twins, I must say: No one works harder than you do. In the end you will have to leave it all behind. 

Disclaimer: This horoscope is presented for entertainment purposes only. The Germaine Truth does not endorse any particular system of divination.